Life is a wave, can you surf?
Read Time: 3 Ish Minutes
“Get inspired and transform your mindset in three minutes or less.”
Welcome to 3 Minute Thursdays, my weekly newsletter to give you quick, actionable insights and reflections to speed up your personal growth, break the cycle of the past, and overcome limiting beliefs. You are a powerful creator, time to act like it.
What you can expect today:
- Riley’s Raw Thoughts: Life is a wave, can you surf?
- Story & Lesson: My 1st addiction and what I learned
- Questions & Answers: How do I find my purpose?
Riley’s Raw Thoughts: Life is a wave, can you surf?
Something on my mind & heart:
I hear this quote in my mind anytime I have a “bad” day.
“Just because you have a bad day, doesn’t mean you have a bad life.”
After the Men’s retreat I ran in August I was on cloud 9.
I remember thinking to myself “Damn, if I feel this good right now there may be a low point around the corner.”
I was right haha!
The waves of life are inevitable. For us to feel amazing, sometimes we gotta feel shitty.
Once we realize that life is full of ups and downs, we can lean on the practices that keep us bright even in the dark:
- Gratitude – How amazing is it to be alive and experiencing all life has to offer?
- Stillness – Inside of ourselves is a retreat more nourishing than any vacation.
- Creativity – Write, dance, sing, and express yourself.
Whatever wave you are currently riding… know more are coming.
Embrace it.
Here’s a beautiful song that always hits during days like this:
Waves by Russ
What I am building & learning:
Currently I am learning how to have more faith and patience.
I am gaining insane amounts of momentum, but facing many setbacks and challenges as I build things from the ground up:
As per my last email I am relaunching my 1on1 program.
After some deep dives I am leaning into healing work with others fully… with retreats, my communities, and also my client work.
Helping others to heal what is holding them back: from joy, self love, authenticity, and hell even greatness.
Then, teaching them how to reprogram their minds: manifest abundance, living with purpose, and becoming more magnetic to the best things in life.
P.S. – I am looking for 5 people to partner with 1on1 for next to nothing in exchange for a testimonial, respond to this email if interested. (I work with both Men & Women again!)
Here is what past clients have said:
In addition to that I have been practicing video editing, posting content consistently (finally!!), and meeting with people who want to come to a retreat.
We have two more dates this year and are offering very low interest free payments for those that want to join (:
October 10th-13th & November 14th-17th.
How I recently won & failed:
As I mentioned above I have been in a bit of a low period this last 10 days or so.
I won by recognizing that. I am noticing how our old patterns and coping mechanisms try to come back in our low points.
I failed by not recognizing it soon enough lol!
- Social media time crept up.
- Temptations to drink, smoke, or numb out with old addictions.
- Self talk became more negative.
But, we are back on the up and up now.
Don’t think because I write these emails, and talk about this Shit that I am perfect.
Without daily practice and effort I would’ve ended up the most dysfunctional person we both know.
Here’s to being human.
Story & Lesson: My 1st addiction and what I learned
When I was a kid I had several addictions:
- Pornography by age 5.
- Video games since I could hold a controller.
- Substances by age 12.
Naming a few… but the first was video games.
I LOVED video games (I still do honestly but only play a few times a year now).
I got really good at escaping my life.
Life wasn’t too kind back then:
- I was being abused by a family member on a daily basis.
- My mom was spiraling after losing custody of me, and attracting abusive partners.
- My dad was always working and too busy to notice.
I felt alone, powerless, and trapped at times.
Video games allowed me to check out and became my greatest teacher.
- I learned how to read at a college level by age 8 because of games.
- I could communicate effectively with adults, and even lead teams on my games by age 10.
- I understood the basics of economy, negotiation, and the importance of grinding early on.
I became obsessed with making progress. I fell in love with the process and story. I felt powerful and had purpose.
So you see… there is always duality in things.
Without a chaotic childhood I wouldn’t have developed the character I have now.
Without video games I wouldn’t have learned so quickly, or coped with my life.
Nothing is all good, or all bad. Both exist in all things.
I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I used to think it was a curse, now I realize what a blessing it has been.
I was receiving on the job training for my purpose all those years.
How cool?
Nowadays the value and trade off isn’t the same – but thank God back then I got addicted.
Questions & Answers: How do I find my purpose?
I had a conversation the other day with a man who is coming to one of this years retreats.
He told me his story of growing up with an abusive father, and being outcast in his family.
This lead him to attracting mean people as life went on… people that acted similarly to his father.
Next thing you know he is using drugs to cope, and experiencing chaos all the time in his life.
However, he recently snapped out of it – and is now leaning in to heal once and for all.
He asked me a question on our call: How do I find my purpose?
The man mentioned he followed my journey since we were younger, and could tell “something happened to me.”
“I watched you all those years and everything you have overcome. Now you live with purpose, and I want to know how you did it.”
I felt really grateful and touched to hear that. Here’s how I found my purpose, and how you can do the same:
I always felt deep down like I was meant for something greater.
But, there was all this stuff in the way:
- Limiting beliefs.
- Fear.
- Not knowing who I was or what I was meant to do.
I found my purpose when I dove into exploring these things. Why do I constantly suffer? Who am I really? What is a purpose?
Also, below I attached a diagram by the Japanese that is really helpful to define your purpose.
Here’s how I did it:
Step 1: Discover who you are.
You won’t know your purpose if you don’t know yourself.
Dive into your story, your experiences, and your shadows.
Inside of your darkness, fear, and lack of understanding of yourself is your answer.
Step 2: Explore your curiosities.
Next, identify what naturally calls to you.
Most people have the drive to help others in some way, but what type of things draw you in?
Do you like to talk with people?
Are you artistic?
Funny?
Adventurous?
What makes you curious, and how could you explore it.
The Japanese have a diagram called “Ikigai”
Look this over for inspiration.
Step 3: Cast a vision.
Now that you have some clarity – decide what you really want.
If fear wasn’t a problem, and you knew you would succeed… what would you do?
How would you make your mark on the world?
Get crystal clear on your vision, and start moving towards it.
At first, you won’t know how you are going to do it. Only, what it is you want to do.
Good – one step at a time.
Hope this helps!
In Case You Missed It:
In Saturdays Issue, I covered how you can stop giving a f*ck to greatly enhance the quality of your life.
You can read it here.
When you are ready… here’s how I can help:
Come to my retreats
Experience the healing power of entheogenic medicines to rewire your mind from a state of lack, stress, and struggle to one of never ending abundance, confidence, and peace.
Work with me 1-on-1
I will help you to uncover and heal your core limiting beliefs and wounds that are holding you back.
Afterwards I will teach you:
- how to reprogram your mind to manifest abundance, live with purpose, and becoming more magnetic to the best things in life.
- how to live more holistically for peak mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health.
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You can reply directly to this email with any questions, wins, or thoughts you had this week.
Thank you for joining me this week.
With love, support, & gratitude,
Riley Conder
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
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