He wouldn’t stop punching her face (this made me who I am)
Read Time: 3 Minutes
“Get inspired and transform your mindset in three minutes or less.”
Welcome to 3 Minute Thursdays, my weekly newsletter to give you quick, actionable insights and reflections to speed up your personal growth, break the cycle of the past, and overcome limiting beliefs. You are a powerful creator, time to act like it.
What you can expect today:
- Riley’s Raw Thoughts: Manifestation is real, and now so is my dream
- Story & Lesson: He wouldn’t stop punching her face
- Questions & Answers: How do I get my partner to agree with my perspective?
Riley’s Raw Thoughts: Manifestation is real, and now so is my dream
Something on my mind & heart:
Seven days from today I run my first retreat partnered with the team at Aluna Healing Center in California.
Two years ago I set the goal to help others heal and reach their potential as my “job.” I was considering suicide until I experienced a retreat, and plant medicine.
Ask, and you shall receive. Here we are.
These retreats are under $2k all in (payment plans available) including food, stay, coaching before and after, as well as transportation to and from the airport in California.
All you need is a growth mindset, and a plane ticket to meet me there 🙂
In October I am running a retreat called Heal The Inner Child for Men & Women.
And, in November most likely another Mens Retreat unless the Co – Ed is more popular.
I really like the tagline “Heal what holds you back”, that’s what we are helping people do with these retreats.
For Men – reach out ASAP if you want to join me next week, the retreat is 15% off and we are filling a few more spots.
For everyone – stay tuned for the others, and let me know if you want to be “on the list”.
What I am building & learning:
Currently my projects consist of:
Filling 3 retreats by the end of the year.
I am learning a lot about marketing, sales, and the skills involved with hosting healing spaces like these.
Growing my real estate agent community to win the Skool games.
I am learning that my real estate skills are deeper than I realized, and easy to teach others.
Becoming a better version of myself. (Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, romantically, etc)
I am learning that fear of success is sometimes more demoralizing than fear of failure. I know who I am capable of being, yet I hold myself back at times from being great. Sometimes our own worst enemy is ourselves… different levels different devils.
How I recently won & failed:
Huge win!
I found a new gym in Austin, Texas that I love and am back on the path of being absolutely jacked.
If you find yourself in Austin – Let’s meet up! I train at Big Tex Gym.
Some losses.
As I mentioned above, fear of success.
What a weird place to be.
I always knew I wouldn’t fail, and that I won’t. So, why am I so afraid to succeed?
I have the opportunity.
I have the bravery.
I have the skill.
I am legitimately a crazy person, and would die for my dreams or cause.
Then I hold myself back. I choose to snooze the alarm. I procrastinate at times. I overthink, overplan, and overprepare.
That is my battle at the moment.
What is yours? Reply and let me know.
Story & Lesson: He wouldn’t stop punching her face
I’ve decided to go all in on my healing, and helping others do the same.
We all carry inside of us something called “The Inner Child”.
It’s a part of our mind that carried our beliefs, self image, and trauma.
We can find parts of ourself we lost, and heal from our deepest wounds by working with this Inner Child.
Something you should know about me: I am incredible protective.
If someone hurts someone I care about, I will put a stop to it. In the past I beat the Shit out of an 18 year old who threatened to kill my brother… he was over 6 foot and 3 years older than me, I was 120lbs, under 5”10 and 15 years old at the time.
Why did I grow up to be so protective?
Because when I was a child I wasn’t protected, and I couldn’t protect others.
I still remember a day where my mom was being repeatedly punched in the face, and screaming for my help. My ex-step father was not a good man. I tried to stop him, but I physically couldn’t.
I still remember being around five years old, being forced into a cold shower and told if I made a sound I would regret it.
Now, I would do anything to protect my people.
The lesson?
The worst of experiences can give birth to the best of us.
Inside of our wounds is the “diamond in the rough”.
We can inflict pain on others, like we experienced… or we can be the ones most qualified to help others like us.
No wonder I am such a twisted, yet lighthearted fella haha! How could I not be?
Take back your power, and find the light inside of your darkness.
Questions & Answers: How do I get my partner to agree with my perspective?
Today’s question comes from a conversation I had with a woman in my retreat training.
To protect her privacy I won’t share her name or specifics.
She had a situation in her relationship that had her feeling unsure of how to move forwards:
- What if he doesn’t want to honor my boundary?
- What if my boundary is just insecurity?
- What if we don’t end up being together because of this?
Maybe you have found yourself in a situation like this: You feel strongly about something in your relationship, but your partner may not be on the same page.
It could be something simple like if both partners want kids.
It could be something complex like do both partners want monogomy.
Relationships have complexity, and she wanted to know how do I get my partner to agree to my perspective?
Here is my advice:
Become crystal clear on what YOU want first.
Let go of needing it to go your way, or for your partner to change their minds.
What do you want? What in your heart of hearts is true for you?
Got it?
Good. Now own it, and share it compassionately with your partner.
“I realized I really want kids. That is very important to me, but I respect and honor if that isn’t what you want.”
The last thing you want to do is talk someone into your point of view.
- They will resent you and themselves for not being true to themselves.
- You will resent them and yourself for forcing something inauthentic in your partner.
By sharing openly what you want, and letting your partner choose – you create trust, and safety.
Now they get to decide if they want to be with you or not.
If so, great – guess what? You get what you want.
If not, no problem. You’ll get what you deserve from someone that is more aligned with you.
Either way both people win, in the end.
Reply to this email with a question if you want to be featured on my newsletter and get some 1on1 advice.
In Case You Missed It:
In Saturdays Issue, I covered how slowing down in life will get you what you want faster.
You can read it here.
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You can reply directly to this email with any questions, wins, or thoughts you had this week.
Thank you for joining me this week.
With love, support, & gratitude,
Riley Conder
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
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