I lied to myself and others (what it taught me)
Read Time: 3 Minutes
“Get inspired and transform your mindset in three minutes or less.”
Welcome to 3 Minute Thursdays, my weekly newsletter to give you quick, actionable insights and reflections to speed up your personal growth, and overcome limiting beliefs. You are a powerful creator, time to act like it.
What you can expect today:
- Riley’s Raw Thoughts: The best book ever written
- Story & Lesson: What dishonesty taught me
- Questions & Answers: How to talk to “God”
Riley’s Raw Thoughts: The best book ever written
Something on my mind & heart:
I recently heard someone say the best book ever written is our life.
Assuming that is, that we have written it down.
Thank God for the last couple of years I have began documenting my thoughts, experiences, and lessons.
If you don’t have a journaling habit: grab this journal and start asap.
By reading over and reflecting on the past… we can gain needed wisdom for the present and future.
We can identify patterns.
See our blindspots.
Celebrate our growth.
Support ourselves.
All through life’s constant adventure.
Journaling is my most important habit.
Without it I would surely go crazy, and drown in my overactive mind.
After reflecting on the last couple of years I learned a few things:
- I’ve gotten way more negative, and afraid of life.
- I am happiest when seeing life through the lens of playful exploration.
- Some patterns from the past still remain in the present.
Now it’s time to write some new chapters.
This version of me is dying whether I am ready for him to or not.
What a story it’s been so far.
What I am building & learning:
I’ve got my retreat in a couple weeks top of mind right now.
My other projects have gone to the side for now mostly besides taking on a few 1on1 clients.
This season of life has taught me patience, and surrender.
- Can you keep moving forward when things don’t go your way?
- How much can you trust in life’s unfolding?
- What if it takes longer than you planned?
Questions like this have been on my mind.
As well as “how much more can I take?”
A lot.
I’ve felt like that most of my life, what’s another season or two matter?
P.S. Our November 14th-17th retreat has a few spots left at a “Friends & family” price, click here if you are interested and we can talk about it.
How I recently won & failed:
Recent win:
I’ve been very consistent in the gym again!
- 405 for reps on deadlift.
- Pull ups with a 45 pound plate.
My bench press sadly hasn’t caught back up.
About to be in California for two weeks without a gym : yoga and a lot of bodyweight training here we come.
Recent loss:
Waiting for permission, or someone to save me.
I have taken many risks the last two years, and right now I feel the heat of it.
I noticed rather than rising up and “grabbing my sword” to fight back like I usually do… I’ve frozen.
Waiting for someone to give me permission on what’s next.
Hoping some will save me.
It’s been a weird season, and broken confidence (trust) in myself.
But one thing about me: I don’t quit.
I always find a way.
Story & Lesson: What dishonesty taught me
“You can’t be honest with others until you are honest with yourself”
One of my mentors Sway said this to me back in 2021.
I found out my partner at the time had cheated on me over the last year.
One Saturday morning I woke up with a strong intuition something had happened.
I found the truth… and kept it to myself for over a week.
“But I was about to propose to her how could this happen?”
Sway was talking to me during one of our sessions (he is a massage therapist).
“Riley, be honest do you really feel staying with her is the right thing to do?” – Sway
“Yeah, I don’t want to lose her…” – Me
“You can’t be honest with others until you are honest with yourself.” – Sway
Ouch.
Sway knew I was to weak and afraid at that time to follow my gut.
Looking back I can understand: it was a long relationship, and I was deeply hurt.
What followed was a deep dive into depression, and toxic cycles within that relationship.
From there things got complicated.
I stayed in that relationship for another year. I ended up proposing to her anyways at a later time. The day after we got engaged things fell apart again.
Sooner or later the truth always comes out.
I’ve had a hard time forgiving her and myself since, but what I learned is so much deeper:
People only betray us because we betray ourselves.
When we ignore our gut, or put ourselves second to others… we betray ourselves.
When we don’t keep promises to ourselves… betrayal.
When we say “yes” when we mean “no”… betrayal.
Everyone is a mirror to us and sometimes that sucks to realize.
We attract, and experience in our lives what we are.
Lesson learned.
Stop bullshitting myself… especially when it hurts.
Questions & Answers: How to talk to “God”
Yesterday I reached out to a friend for some support.
He is a very spiritual dude, and always lifts my spirits by reminding me that I am not alone… there is a higher power / divine presence in my life guiding me.
He jokingly said “You know, you could talk to God the same way you are talking to me right now. In fact, I bet that is what “he” would want you to do anyways.”
That was a cool thought: Prayer doesn’t have to be some formal thing. Maybe it’s like talking to a close friend.
“This is what I am struggling with. Here is what is on my mind. Thank you for supporting me through it, and showing me the way forwards.”
We are all apart of the same sacred source. There is infinite wisdom, love, and support waiting for us to reach out.
You (and I) aren’t alone after all.
If you are interested in solving some of your personal problems:
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Or if you are interested in solving some of your personal problems:
In Case You Missed It:
In Saturdays Issue, I talked about our “shadow” holding our darkness… and our greatest gifts.
You can read it here.
When you are ready… here’s how I can help:
Come to my retreats
Experience the power of entheogenic medicines.
There is nothing more powerful or proven for healing, growth, and transformation.
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Some topics could include:
- how to uncover and heal your core limiting beliefs and wounds that are holding you back.
- how to reprogram your mind to manifest abundance, live with purpose, and becoming more magnetic to the best things in life.
- how to live more holistically for peak mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health.
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You can reply directly to this email with any questions, wins, or thoughts you had this week.
Thank you for joining me this week.
With love, support, & gratitude,
Riley Conder
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
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