I like someone and they ghosted me… what do I do?
Read Time: 5 Minutes
Welcome to Raw Thoughts w/ Riley – where I’ll share unfiltered personal reflections, and insights on my journey to self and life mastery.
Join us every Thursday as we explore bold ideas, lessons, and perspectives designed to spark your curiosity, confidence, and creativity.
Today’s Raw Thoughts:
- Something on my mind: Model for success, experiment for self
- Something I am learning: What it means to focus
- How I recently failed: What’s taking you so long?
- How I recently won: Building my dream day
- Story & lesson: Skateboarding made me $1m+ dollars
- Q & A: I like someone, and they ghosted me… What do I do?
Something on my mind: Model for success, experiment for self
Recently I had a massive breakthrough.
Have you ever heard of modeling? It’s a fancy way of saying copying, but for the sake of adopting the way other people win.
You watch how other people are succeeding, and you do the same thing.
In Real Estate, 80% of agents don’t make it past 2 years. Of the ones that do, they on average sell around 5 homes per year. That’s $30-50k per year max.
In my career, I have sold on average 2 homes per month or more and just reached my 5th year. That’s no less than $150-250k per year.
How? Modeling.
In an attempt to become successful with everything I am creating:
- Community
- Online Business
- Mentor to Others
I began modeling others doing the same.
To much of a good thing can be bad as they say, and I think I overdid it recently.
I learned that even though other people operate a certain way, and it may work for them… it doesn’t always work the same way for someone else.
Model others for success, but experiment for yourself. In doing so you can take what “works” and make it work for you.
Something I am learning: What it means to focus
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“You can do anything, but not everything”
David Allen
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I am an ambitious Man. The vision I have for my life is massive. With that comes many potential things I can focus on.
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“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other things that there are. You have to pick carefully.”
Steve Jobs
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So recently, I took the 8 Goals I set for the year – and condensed them down to 3, with one “big” goal that they all feed into.
Big Goal: I Reached, Inspired, and Healed 1,000,000+ people
This goal to me means that when the year is over, I can see data that shows I reached over 1m people. Through content, conversation, and the work I am doing in the world.
Broken Down:
I Earned $100,000 in a Month with Conder Creations LLC
Through coaching / mentorship, digital products, and in person or online events.
I Am 200+ LBS and a Hybrid Athlete Champion
Back to being a beefy boy, and winning some form of competition. Jiu Jitsu, a race, or something along those lines.
I Hosted 3 Legendary Plant Medicine Ceremonies
I have one lined up in August, and more on the way. These will change lives in the most profound way.
I reconsidered the different things I have been working on, or doing in my life. Then I gave myself permission to let go of what doesn’t align.
I got real with myself, and realized that to do great things, I have to do few things.
If you want to learn more about how to focus, I made a video here that will teach you what I’ve learned.
How I recently failed: What’s taking you so long?
I have been taking way to long with everything I am creating.
Although there has been a lot to learn, plan, and get clear on… I have been letting fear get the best of me.
I leave to Texas in July.
The good news? Your boy needs to get his shit together before I leave.
Sink or swim. Looks like I have a deadline after-all…
How I recently won: Building my dream day
With those two reflections above came some change to how I operate day to day.
I created my dream day experiment. I called it the “Rich, Buff, Productive, and Happy MF’er Daily Routine”
That might sound vain, but I don’t give a shit.
Who doesn’t want to be financially free, confident in their body, making progress, and happy in their lives?
Here’s a peak at my dream “work” day experiment:
All I’ve got to say is “Hell Yeah”.
I encourage you to try a similar experiment.
Story & lesson: Skateboarding made me $1m+ dollars
When I look back at “the thing” that gave me the character traits I have now, I think of skateboarding.
I have talked about “how video games made me successful”. I haven’t talked about how skateboarding was my first real “success”.
It gave me the character traits to go on to earn a lot of money, and do a lot of other cool things in my life.
If you want to get good at skateboarding, you have to develop these traits:
- Risk Tolerance – to throw yourself down a set of stairs you need to be OK potentially cracking your skull.
- Commitment – to land, or even attempt tricks you need to commit. Don’t Pussy out.
- Resilience – pain tolerance baby, it doesn’t feel good to eat shit. Get up.
- Courage – you have to be ballsy to get on a board, let alone get good.
If you want to have a good life, you need those very same traits.
When I was 12-15 years old, I was obsessed with skateboarding (and smoking weed lol). I would skate for hours almost every day, and quickly got to the point where I was competing.
I remember winning my first skate competition back in 2012, and how my friends & family didn’t really believe in me… (besides my Mom, who is always my #1 supporter.)
It’s funny how even though things change, they stay the same.
Everything I am building right now reminds me of being a beginner in skateboarding.
One day, I can’t even Ollie. The next, I am winning.
Skateboarding made me one gritty, grindy, ballsy, competitive, and committed MF’er.
1st Place at my 1st Competition
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Me Kickflipping onto a box
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Questions & Answers: I like someone, and they ghosted me… What do I do?
Today’s question comes from someone I met at the gym during my time in Ecuador in January.
He reached out after seeing some of my recent content. I will call him MP to protect his privacy.
“I told her that I find her attractive, and she told me that she feels the same. But since she hasn’t replied any messages, and that’s really consuming my mind. What do I do?”
The dating scene nowadays can be a tricky thing, and catching feelings for someone can be really vulnerable. A lot of people give mixed signals, and it’s easy to be lead on.
Here’s my advice if you find yourself in a situation similar to this:
Don’t be needy, or act desperate:
If someone isn’t responding to you, do not keep messaging them.
So much of attraction comes from “mystery”, meaning people want what they can’t have or desire to “figure” each other out.
If you make yourself to available, or desperate – you will turn the other person away, even if they also are attracted to you as well.
It’s not about playing games (although dating is basically a game), It’s about valuing yourself and having confidence. Abundance mindset.
Eventually they will respond, or if they don’t – you didn’t overdue it in the process.
This is a great opportunity to see yourself, and where you can grow. How can you support yourself during this time, and become aware of any insecurities, or patterns?
Relax.
Sometimes people get busy with life.
Maybe they are also scared, and feel vulnerable. Maybe there was a death in their family. Maybe they didn’t pay their phone bill!
Don’t let your mind tell you stories, take a deep breath and relax.
I hope this helps you my friend, what a great opportunity to grow and improve your dating skills.
Reply to this email with a question if you want to be featured on my newsletter and get some 1on1 advice.
In case you missed it: Why you don’t achieve your goals.
In Saturdays Issue, I covered the 2 reasons you hold yourself back.
Do you ever feel like your own worst enemy? Are you in your own way?
Read that issue here to learn how to beat perfectionism & comparison.
New Community Launch: Meet your tribe, earn more $, and become your highest self. Together, let’s build our dream lives.
Humans need each other, we grow and thrive when we have a tribe.
Unfortunately men & women nowadays are suffering in silence…
To many people are being “lone wolves” in their lives.
The thing about the lone wolf?
It starves, and dies alone.
That doesn’t have to be you.
That’s why I built Kaizen Culture: the #1 tribe for those wanting to create freedom, fun, abundance, and positive change in their life.
Come join the other crazy people like yourself improving their lives one day at a time.
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You can reply directly to this email with any questions, wins, or thoughts you had this week.
Thank you for joining me this week.
With love, support, & gratitude,
Riley Conder
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
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