Why is nothing making me happy? (this was unexpected)
Read Time: 3 Minutes
“Get inspired and transform your mindset in three minutes or less.”
Welcome to 3 Minute Thursdays, my weekly newsletter to give you quick, actionable insights and reflections to speed up your personal growth, and overcome limiting beliefs. You are a powerful creator, time to act like it.
What you can expect today:
- Riley’s Raw Thoughts: Addition by subtraction
- Story & Lesson: The begging bowl
- Questions & Answers: Why is nothing making me happy?
Riley’s Raw Thoughts: Addition by subtraction
Something on my mind & heart:
I always think about the things I want to do:
And then I think of what I have to do in order to do those things:
Before I know it I’ve got many things “to do” in my life.
It becomes about how many things I can get done rather than how much can I enjoy my life.
But there is a better way.
What if in order to do what we really want, we can’t do other things?
Addition by subtraction.
Removing most things to make room for the most important few.
Doing less and getting more.
To be healthy, we gotta stop eating like shit.
To be productive, we gotta stop allowing distractions.
To be happy, we gotta stay away from negativity.
You see what I mean?
It’s not what we do, but what we don’t do that makes all the difference in the end.
What I am building & learning:
My mentor Attila challenged me at the last retreat we ran together:
“Riley, it is time to start your practice. You are ready to do this work with others on your own as well.”
So right now, that is what I am focusing on.
Finding people locally and online who are interested in using plant medicine, breathwork, and my guidance to create big changes.
- Breaking patterns that have kept them unhappy or stuck.
- Healing from past experiences and pain.
- Finding purpose and personal power.
I’ve been “hustling” and posting content again (even if it’s not perfect).
I’ve been reaching out to local yoga studios and going to networking events.
I’ve been promoting my retreats and planning other events online or in person.
I am learning patience, consistency, and persistence.
- Accepting that it may take some time.
More updates soon!
P.S. Our November retreat has a few spots left, click here if you are interested and we can talk about it.
How I recently won & failed:
My win for this week:
I got out of my comfort zone and went to a local event in Austin.
It was a cold plunge and running event. After being a hermit for a few months it felt damn good to socialize.
My failure for this week:
My relationship with myself hasn’t been amazing.
Self sabotage comes and goes. Lately it showed up again in many ways.
I can’t call myself a “man of my word” if I don’t trust myself.
Our confidence in ourself comes from how much we trust ourselves.
If we break promises we make to ourselves… our self-confidence will die.
Here’s to the most important relationship we have:
The one with ourselves.
Story & Lesson: The begging bowl
I read this story in the book I have been reading called The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth About Extraordinary Results.
THE BEGGING BOWL
Upon coming out of his palace one morning and encountering a beggar, a king asks, “What do you want?”
The beggar laughingly says, “You ask as though you can fulfill my desire!”
Offended, the king replies, “Of course I can. What is it?”
The beggar warns, “Think twice before you promise anything.”
Now, the beggar was no ordinary beggar but the king’s past-life master, who had promised in their former life, “I will come to try and wake you in our next life. This life you have missed, but I will come again to help you.”
The king, not recognizing his old friend, insisted, “I will fulfill anything you ask, for I am a very powerful king who can fulfill any desire.”
The beggar said, “It is a very simple desire. Can you fill this begging bowl?”
“Of course!” said the king, and he instructed his vizier to “fill the man’s begging bowl with money.”
The vizier did, but when the money was poured into the bowl, it disappeared.
So he poured more and more, but the moment he did, it would disappear.
The begging bowl remained empty. Word spread throughout the kingdom, and a huge crowd gathered.
The prestige and power of the king were at stake, so he told his vizier, “If my kingdom is to be lost, I am ready to lose it, but I cannot be defeated by this beggar.”
He continued to empty his wealth into the bowl. Diamonds, pearls, emeralds. His treasury was becoming empty. And yet the begging bowl seemed bottomless.
Everything put into it immediately disappeared!
Finally, as the crowd stood in utter silence, the king dropped at the beggars feet and admitted defeat. “You are victorious, but before you go, fulfill my curiosity. What is the secret of this begging bowl?”
The beggar humbly replied, “There is no secret. It is simply made up of human desire.”
The lesson?
Life isn’t about “stuff”.
Material things don’t fill the void for long.
The only thing that creates lasting fulfillment is purpose (“why” you want or do something in the first place).
Questions & Answers: Why is nothing making me happy?
I had a coaching call Tuesday with a client who was having a rough time.
“Why is nothing making me happy? I don’t like where I live, the job I work, the relationship I am in, or the car I drive.” – My client
After talking some more we started to unpack what was going on.
Most of our problems boil down to two things:
- Self love (relationship with ourselves)
This client thought it was the external things that were the problem…
but after me asking some deep questions, the answer was clear:
He had a core limiting belief of “I am not enough”.
How could anything else in his life fill that void? How could anything outside of him be enough?
It couldn’t (and won’t).
Of course other things were going on, but at the core this was his problem.
Life was only reflecting it back to him through his current situation, and experiences.
Now do you see why I am so passionate about this work?
- It actually solves the real problems in our life.
- We become empowered creators rather than helpless victims.
- Our life changes to reflect our growth and upgraded self esteem.
If you are interested in solving some of your personal problems:
Reply to this email with a question if you want to be featured on my newsletter and get some 1on1 advice.
In Case You Missed It:
In Saturdays Issue, I covered how multi-tasking and discipline are a lie.
You can read it here.
When you are ready… here’s how I can help:
Come to my retreats
Experience the power of entheogenic medicines.
There is nothing more powerful or proven for healing, growth, and transformation.
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Some topics could include:
- how to uncover and heal your core limiting beliefs and wounds that are holding you back.
- how to reprogram your mind to manifest abundance, live with purpose, and becoming more magnetic to the best things in life.
- how to live more holistically for peak mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health.
- how to use psychedelic medicines safely, or talk about and understand your psychedelic experiences.
Or anything else you want to discuss.
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You can reply directly to this email with any questions, wins, or thoughts you had this week.
Thank you for joining me this week.
With love, support, & gratitude,
Riley Conder
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
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